We call life a roller coaster.... I am a believer. My chalkboard reads "Breathe, Bike/Run, Balance, Be Still, Listen, Slow Down", it's all to make my body able to fight off multiplying cancer cells. I am untraining behaviors and retraining to be calm.... it is a lot harder than you I ever thought.
Roadtripped to Canada with Bentley and Lou, beautiful country.... I learned my dogs are patient, Banff and British Columbia are beautiful and I'm grateful for good brakes on my car. The 1700 mile trip ended in Seattle with Dr. Lin's smiling face and time with my sister's awesome family... perfect. So this is the roller coaster.... 2 days of scans showed no new tumors! Tumor markers from my blood draw at BGH before I left showed they were not in the red, 86, but still double from my draw in April, 46. "If we can stabilize you in that range, that is the goal" Dr. Lin says. He has me taking a combination of meds with my chemo that will create an enviroment in my body that hopefully cancer cells don't thrive.... I left happy and optimistic, even though the meds are anxiety drivers and depressents I try to ignore it... my roller coaster ride....I was at the height of the loop-de-loop with his good news and smile.
Then Tuesday I get a Dr. Lin phone call. Tumor marker (called chromogranin A) from my visit last week is at 111. BOOM... down the loop-de-loop I go. Still within a good range (80-90 is the norm ceiling), but trending up. He reminds me that my scans were clear, phewwwwww.... but with them going up I dread to see dark spots next scan. Sooooo we double the anxiety and depressent meds.. so if having cancer doesn't bum you out, the meds will. Frustration looms, anxiety is constant, so I will distract myself with whatever I can.
My goal is to stay healthy with food, exercise and postive life experiences, which all of you are part of and I am so grateful, so if I haven't said thank you, I thank you.
I am going to Brazil to see John of God in September with my loyal flight instructor and friend Chris Rinehart. He is a world renowned spiritual hearler who has healed people from all over the world.... not to mention the casa itself is supposed to be an amazing place of healing. I've decided Western medicine has gotten me this far, I want to exhaust all resources... until then I am trying to prepare my mind and body for what september will bring. Go to the link below if interested more:
http://www.johnofgod.com/index.php/about-john-of-god.html
Life is beautiful, savor it, love it, regardless of where you are on the roller coaster the hard times make you stronger and make the times at the top of the loop-de-loop sweeter:)
Love to all!
~S
Last day of trip, waiting for the last ferry to Seattle....
Banff was amazing.....
Bentley, Lou and I @ Lake Louise:)
